As far as I can remember, I’ve never had a Big Mac before, but somehow on Saturday night this happened.
Last week was not a good week of training. In fact, it was crap. Total crap. The week was scheduled as a step-back week with 42 miles planned. Unfortunately, this was based on running six-days a week for the previous few weeks, which I haven’t done, so it was only one mile less than I ran the previous two weeks (which should have been 48 miles each, but were only 43).
The week was filled with garbage run after garbage run. The humidity is partially to blame, but I also just felt awful and tired otherwise. My midweek miles were all there, but I had to make some adjustments to my plans to get them done. I also wasn’t able to do any speedwork. My long run was scheduled at 16 miles. I started the run in the rain, but, after a mile, the rain stopped and the humidity soared. I could have fought through that, but my legs felt like lead. They were exhausted and really didn’t feel up to the task at hand. When I looped back to my house in between my two eight-mile out-and-backs, I called it. I knew there was no way my legs had another eight miles in them.
So, I ended the week with just 34 miles. On the plus side, that makes it an actual step-back. On the negative side…I only ran 34 miles.
With nine weeks to go, I think it’s time to start being honest with myself about my progress towards my goal. I’m not running all my miles, I’m running much slower than I should be, I’m not doing any speedwork, and I’m ignoring my strength work. I’m working off the same plan I did for the New Jersey Marathon earlier this year. The plan was challenging, but doable for me and I made a lot of progress. I thought doing the same plan again would be the best course of action, but I’ve yet to be able to run six days a week, as the plan calls for, so my mileage is lower than it was last training cycle. Not only am I running fewer miles than last cycle, but I’m also running quite a bit slower. I can blame the heat and humidity for some of it, but not enough to ease my concerns. I’m actually running slightly slower than I did during Richmond Marathon training last year–which means much slower than training last cycle. That’s just not going to cut it. To make matters worse, with only a few exceptions, my body has been dead on every run. I haven’t had it in me to do the speedwork. I just don’t have anything to give. And each run takes so much out of me, physically, mentally, and emotionally, that I can’t even bring myself to do any strength work after running.
I’m in a serious rut right now and nothing is really going right. It’s really the same rut I’ve been in since just before the New Jersey Marathon. I’ve had a few good weeks here and there, but running has been overall more crappy than good, by a wide margin. I’m also risking injury by not keeping up with strength work. Basically, I’m barely treading water.
I feel completely defeated. I have since New Jersey and every time this rut feels like it’s coming to an end, I fall right back into it. I don’t really know how to get myself out of it at this point. I’m out there running, but it’s killing me. At this point, it’s not just physical anymore, it’s mental and emotional as well. It also doesn’t help any that, outside of running, I’ve been dealing with a fair amount of depression and lack of motivation (separate post on the depression coming tomorrow). I was positive about things for a long time, but I’ve about used up all my ability be optimistic.
What this all boils down to is that there just isn’t enough time left between now and the Erie Marathon on 9/14 (two months from today) to be able to hit my goal of sub-3:30. It may not be completely impossible, but it’s highly improbable. Even just my BQ time of 3:35 doesn’t feel very attainable right now. I’m not making progress and the race is getting closer and closer. Accepting this means accepting that, as obsessed with this goal as I have been, I have no chance of snatching my BQ in time for 2015. It’s just too far of a stretch and I need to let it go.
It’s time to weigh my options…
- Continue working towards my goal anyway and hope this all comes together somehow. Sure, I could keep it up, but this is essentially just hoping for a miracle and ignoring reality. There’s simply too much ground for me to make up. This is the riskiest of all the options. It means pushing myself on race day without the training to really get me where I want to be. It means beating up my body and forgoing another attempt until the spring next year. Racing three hard marathons in the course of 10 months is probably the max I can handle right now. I’d have to give my body some real time off before racing another marathon.
- Continue training, but change my goal. I could continue training for Erie, but change my plans so Erie is no longer the goal. I could run Erie as a long training run instead of racing it and then use that as a step towards a race later in the fall. Likely, I’d go with the Philly Marathon. I’ve done the race before–so I know the course–and the wife is running it so we’ve already got a hotel room and everything. It would only cost me my registration fee. This would give me an extra two months to focus on getting faster after having already primed my body for the distance. Of course, I’m seriously risking burning myself out here, but it would take some pressure off for a while and give me a better chance of getting a BQ…it just wouldn’t be a BQ for 2015 anymore. This also means doing a hard marathon seven weeks before the Goofy Challenge in January. This isn’t ideal, but it would be a repeat of 2011/2012 when I raced the Philly Marathon (first marathon) and then six weeks later did Goofy for the first time. I know it’s more than doable.
- Drop from Erie and refocus for later in fall. I could just call it a wash and refocus entirely on a different race, again, probably Philly. The realist in me knows this is the smartest decision, the one that limits my injury risk and maximizes my chance of getting a BQ, even if it’s not for the year I want. At this point, my commitment to Erie is mostly just my time, emotion, and effort. I would only be out my registration fee. Of course, I would be wasting a bib for a sold-out race which I’d feel guilty about. While Erie does a wait list, it looks like, according to their website, they may not draw more names so me dropping may not allow someone else into the race.
Right now, I’m leaning towards option two. I think it’s a good compromise between the other two options and I’m way too stubborn for the third one. I can use the time between now and Erie to just work on distance and not have the pressure on myself anymore. Then, after Erie, I can take a couple days off and then hit pavement focusing on maintaining mileage and getting faster.
Is this the right choice? I have no idea. But I need to do be honest with myself. The good thing is, I don’t have to choose right now. I’ve got time for that.
Have you ever been in a running rut that lasted three months? How did you get out of it?